Beans to spill?

I am always a bit torn, when writing here, between being brutally honest or scrimping on the details for the sake of privacy. That fine line between drama and truth. You see, I am not entirely sure I know what to say about what has been going on with me lately. It's been a sort of slow movement, gradual and almost imperceptible over a some months; but now that I look at it, I can perceive the build up.

via brown dress with white dots from emerson made

From a blog perspective, I have this slightly uneasy relationship. Some people who read the blog are those who know me in the real world. Mainly they've known me for years and are my trusted friends, to whom I have divulged my blog secret (yes, I write a blog, yep I know it's unusual, yes I do share my thoughts with the world and no, I am not quite sure why, but yes I do love it). For this category of reader, I figure whatever I write here will just be a facet of what they already know. Then there are readers who know me, either because they have stumbled on my secret blog or because my husband, who is inordinately proud of what I 'create' here, tends to furtively show colleagues and acquaintances. This is quite touching but also leaves me with the impression that maybe his boss reads. 'Hi there', if you do, but forgive me if that makes me ever so slightly guarded about what I write. Then there are my blog friends; those who I may never have met but who shower me with empathy and kindness in comments and emails and without whom, frankly, this would be a lot less meaningful. And then there is the great unknown Internet out there, of readers who drop by, revel in all things Lou, and then carry on with their day, unknown to me.

This blog is a personal blueprint of me, which at times is so personal, but forever positioned as this open experiment where I write as if I am chatting over the telephone to one person, but actually the sound vibrations on that phone line can be picked up by thousands of others. This is why so many bloggers expend so much time discussing this point, and yes, when you think about it, it does feel really strange. I try not to think about it too much...

And so to the beans to spill...what's going on with me? An incremental set of circumstances, some medical and some psychological, and some where those two arenas collide. I have an unexplained, undiagnosed pain in my face; a year ago they thought it was tooth ache, but there is nothing wrong with my teeth. I have seen specialists (who were confounded by what it is), I have taken medication (with disastrous side effects and no results), I have googled every pain website there is. The fact remains: I have this pain, it's affecting my life and there appears to be no diagnosis and no treatment. My reaction to this fact veers from acceptance to abject panic at the prospect that I will have this forever. I do however acknowledge that compared to what some people go through medically, this is small fry.

So last week I tried to devise a plan; with some help from various sources to get this sorted. I rely on a discreet little group of friends who get random emails at odd hours saying things like 'you've known me for donkeys years, do I seem different to you?' I am trying to get to the bottom of whether the worry I feel about this pain is actually real.  Is the worry causing the pain? Is the pain causing the worry? So I am going to look at it close up and in the eyes and see if that helps. I have enlisted homeopaths and osteopaths and other people with 'path' in their title. So bear with me...

Meanwhile not blogging for a week was in some ways liberating, in some ways odd, in some ways strangely lonely (what? no comments!). I feel like I have an old friend whom I have not seen for a while and there is much to catch up on. The news and thoughts will filter through in coming days...

via brown dress with white dots

In the world of Lou...

I am having one of those productive days; spurred on by a few terse words between myself and my beloved this morning about the uselessness of our house filing system. I loathe filing. Paperwork and admin are my worst, worst activities. So I shove everything in a drawer and hope for the best until one of those days arrive where something has to be located. Rapid leafing through pile after pile of un-filed paper ensues, until defeat is admitted or the key item is triumphantly discovered! I wish I were more organised...

via tick tock vintage

After the long weekend, I am settling back into the norm of work days and home days, interspersed by the school run. Term time offers the calm of a quiet house during the day, an opportunity to regroup and to not be Mummy for a few hours. But in return is the tyranny of the drop-off/pick-up/homework/sports matches. I like it though, as I get to go running more and to plan appointments for things I normally don't have time for, like the homeopath or beautician. It's pedicure season; one luxury I afford myself in the summer months.

How can it be May already? I feel like April went by in a whirlwind of Spring days; it really was a fabulous month. Now May means Boo's birthday - she will be a whole decade old. Impossible. My Boo? Surely not; I remember when she looked something like this...

via a lady's findings...washing eggs to be sold at the farmers market, near Falls Creek, Pennsylvania, 1940, Jack Delano.

Trying to eat well (as in really trying; have cut out a-l-h-o-t of bad stuff and it's good but also exhausting cooking everything from scratch). But then when food can look as beautiful as this, I figure it's worth the effort.

photograph from Canelle et Vanille - this food blog is just beautiful...

I am just trying to get on top of everything again, trying to be a better me.

Oh and before I forget - here is what I think:

It's gotta be Prince William.

Ballet - all the way.

Bikini - for as long as I can.

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (let's call her Kate as we are between friends...)

Could not live without tea. Chocolate a close second...

Really really want to be plan in advance, but something always ends up last minute (I wish I were more organised!)

Skinny jeans.

Go it alone on holiday planning - did an all inclusive once; probably not again!

Worrier, Worrier, WORRIER!

Emerald.

Light and floral on the perfume front - I wear Diptyque.

'When Harry Met Sally' - all time classic.

Botox - currently no. Think I will stick on that point.

I love getting into summer clothes - we are so deprived on the weather front...sun = instant wardrobe high.

Marilyn Monroe.

First thought...universally it seems we all agree on this: is it morning already?!

Mental note: go to bed earlier!

This one or that one?

When I lack inspiration I find myself writing this sort of blog post...an open 'Q and A' to the world. Like I did here and here and here...it's a little challenge to myself to think of new questions to pose. I think the whole of the country has post-royal wedding blues; whenever I saw anyone over the weekend they would blurt 'what did you think of the wedding?' And of course we would all start a reverie of how lovely it was and wasn't the dress just divine and didn't they look so very happy?

And so, a new week is starting, let's have some happy choices between this one and that one...I will if you will...

via crush cul de sac from Hennes &Mauritz

Prince William or Prince Harry?

The ballet or the opera?

Bikini or all-in-one?

New best friend: Catherine Duchess of Cambridge or Pippa Middleton?

Couldn't live without: coffee or tea or chocolate?

Plan in advance or last minute everything?

Jeans: skinny or boyfriend?

On holiday: All inclusive resort or go it alone?

via crush cul de sac, photograph by Erica George Dines

All-out worrier or 'let it go' optimist?

Gemstones: Ruby or Emerald?

Perfume: light and floral or heady and musky?

'When Harry met Sally' or 'Sleepless in Seattle'?

Botox: yes or no?

Seasonal anticipation: getting into woolly jumpers and boots or getting into soft cotton and sandals?

Of a bygone age: Marilyn Monroe or Katherine Hepburn?

What is your first thought as you wake in the morning?

photograph by Ida Bjorvik

Guest posting and Spring shopping...

Hello all - I am guest posting over at The Bottom of the Ironing Basket today...

Whilst I am obsessing over the Spring weather (short-lived, I am told) I went out today and splurged on light and breezy cotton clothes - a breton top, a lace cami, the softest white shirt, a gorgeous silk trapeze top. Ooopppsss....shush don't tell ;-)

Photograph by Polly Wreford

Scatty...

There are times when I am feeling on top of everything and my organisational skills are primed. Then things slip and I slide from uber-organised to Mrs Scatty. I simply can not hold all the required details in my head and things get missed, forgotten, undone. This I am sure is a modern phenomenon; the convergence of school schedules and social diaries and work and house and husband and life...

I know when the scattiness is striking as I find that in conversation with people my mind wanders and I remember things I have forgotten. Or rogue birthday party invitations will surface from the piles of paperwork. As will key documents that were 'filed' weeks ago in the pile that denoted 'to do'. But then didn't get done. I find I have made commitments that I then can't meet, resulting in hours of internal mental wrangling of whether I should i) try to cancel gracefully or ii) go ahead but move around ten other things to accommodate the plan!

It's a shame. I would love to be one of those 'on it' people; always ahead of the curve. I have surges of organisation, but it's never enough to go the full distance. And then I find myself thinking 'well, if the issue is time, I could spend it doing admin instead of blogging'. Somehow the activity of blogging falls into the nice 'to do' pile; it carries so much more enjoyment than paying bills.

And on my blog, a recent commenter felt that I did not properly or appropriately credit the photos I use and so she had decided to stop reading. Let me tell you - there is a whole thorny world out there of blogging etiquette that you either do or don't subscibe to or even know about (there is no blogging rule book per se). I have not had a comment like that before and so I let it rest for a day or two before writing here. I have thoughts about this comment and what it meant; but I noticed that my first instinct response was: this is my scattiness again. I could have done better, checked further, filed more clearly, hunted down the source. Mental note: will add to my 'to do' list... ;-)

P.S. Therefore no pics today...

To blog...

I have commented before that I am quite self conscious of this little blog,  amongst people in the 'real' world (as opposed to people in the blog world). From friends, acquaintances, colleagues I keep it a very well guarded secret, divulging it only to those I trust. I fear judgment of the life I present here but also I have found that it's near on impossible to explain a blog to people who don't get it. I have many friends who don't do facebook. My Mum fears online shopping (identity fraud being her worst nightmare). Friends who would rather speak on the phone (how old school) than text or email. And don't get me started on Twitter. Many, many people just can not see the point of Twitter. Why does the world need to know what you had for breakfast? But how pervasive is Twitter? I learned more reading Twitter in London Fashion Week than I did reading a years' worth of Vogue editions.

And so back blogging. The theme of blog self consciousness is rife in this cyber world we inhabit. I have read some fantastic analysis of what it means to blog by some erudite writers who do. It makes absolute sense to me. But still when presenting it to those who are altogether not on that wavelength, it can be a struggle.

This week my husband has been in San Francisco on business accompanying an iconic British fashion brand, discussing some very clever technology stuff. Here is my confession: I think technology is cool. I am not even that ahead of the curve, even though I work for a household-name technology company. I am all for embracing technology. I figure, how on earth am I going to understand what my kids are going to go through in their lives unless I join in with technological advances?

But there are still many...including my friends...who just don't get it. I find myself thinking: isn't this the same as the Luddites not getting machinery in the Industrial Revolution?

OK, so maybe I have a slightly bizarre online persona - 339 blogger followers - welcome to number 340; join the party! OK, so maybe I maintain friendships with blog people I have never and may never meet in person. OK, so maybe I spill the beans of my inner thoughts to complete strangers across the globe. Does that make this pursuit have any less validity than writing a diary in a leather-bound book? :-)

And so to my answers (it's all me, me, me!)

It's got to be Emily Bronte; 'Wuthering Heights' is a masterpiece.

Baby boys really do have a special place in my heart; but then baby girls - yum. Either...and both.

Flowers every time.

I am a layers girl.

I devour magazines (I hear you can get them on the ipad and I so need to look into that; it would save many trees).

Art; my grandfather did it and finances allowing, I do it too.

Raybans.

Little white lies, I am afraid. And with remarkable ease...eeek.

Best asset? Mind, closely followed by healthy body. Health is all.

Completely and utterly non-confrontational. I don't think many of my friends could recall ever having a real argument with me.

I used to live for lie-ins; now I would rather be up and out.
One very bad experience with Strawberry Daquiris (multiplied by many) has left me scarred. Therefore Bloody Mary.

Sunrise; it's a new day.
Hmm I wish I was a staunch secret-keeper but I do find it hard. Of course I can if I have to.

Ocean-front house - always and forever. Love the water.

Thinker...quelles surprise...

via the bottom of the ironing basket

A thinking girl's post...

I found myself regaling the cautionary news tale of 'Austerity Mum'; the blogger whose cover was blown and whose corporate husband was reported to be 'acutely embarassed' by the disclosures his wife had made on her blog. Admittedly the topic of personal finance is always a touchy one, recession or no recession. Of all of the observations I have ever made about blogging, one is that in general, as a pastime blogging seems to apply to the more privileged echelons of society. Case in point; you have to have a computer and some free time to do it. But what was it that so riled people about 'Austerity Mum'? I can't even imagine the vitriol being penned on 'Mumsnet'. I feel saddened that 'Austerity Mum' had to delete her blogging presence, not that I ever even read her blog, but I sense that if for some reason I had to delete mine, it would be with great sadness.

I also leads me to think - would anyone be acutely embarrassed by my disclosures here? I remain anonymous on most fronts, I try to be sincere and authentic. I think before I write. But is blogging somehow a lapse in judgement? I know some bloggers have told me that they would like to blog in complete anonymity so that they could really go to town on what they feel. I get that vibe...but ultimately, for me the best blogs are the ones where there is a real and genuine person behind it.

Every now and then I forget how much I have told you about myself. I go back and read old posts and realise that in fact I am like an open book at times, spilling my feelings as if the route from keyboard to screen to worldwide Internet is just a hop, skip and jump from my innermost thoughts.

What news stories like this remind me of is that blogging is still considered a quirk; something that bored women do to fill their days. Another case in point, Mary who writes Mary Loves told how her husband's friend, on hearing of her blog, commented that she needed to get a hobby. This made me cross! Maybe deep down in me there is this feminist sensibility that feels that being down on women who blog was a bit like being down on women who wrote in the 19th century. George Eliot used a male pseudonym as she would never have been published as her female self. Can you imagine that now? Errr, this is starting to feel like an essay I would have written at University!

In summary I sense that the interrelationship between blogging, money and feminism may be slightly too weighty a topic for a Wednesday morning, so I will say only this. It's a shame that blogging gets people into hot water and it's a shame that so many people judge it and don't 'get it'. As for me it's been lovely all the way through; I have nothing but good to say about it. Long may it last!

all lovely images via bippity boppity boo

Winner, winner (chicken dinner!)...

I just knew I would like this giveaway business, it has been a lot of fun!

So finally here are the lucky winners drawn from a random number generator!

via 20something chic

The first giveaway was for a gift voucher for Belle and Boo.

The winner for this is Laura who writes the blog 'A Place for Tea'

The second giveaway was for an Emma Gordon Georgia clutch bag.

The winner for this is Sophie who writes the blog 'The Littlest Things'.

Sophie could not choose between champagne and leopard - what will it be Sophie?!

This win is very fitting as Sophie and I started to write our blogs at around the same time and she is such a sweetie. I know this bag will go to a good home :-)

via The Sartorialist

The third giveaway was for a copy of 'The Scandinavian Cookbook'.

I'm really pleased given that the winner for this is Jane who writes 'My Pear Tree House'. Reminding us how small the world can be and how I hope that books are goodness in times of trouble.

Congratulations to the winners - I do hope you enjoy your treats! I will email you for postage details. The giveaway has been great, I have so enjoyed your many comments. 

Normal service now resumes... :-)

Danish love...giveaway day three!

Happy Monday to everyone! Today is the final day of my blog birthday giveaway week. I have been amazed and delighted by all of your comments and the number of new readers.

I write this with my head still full of images from the ballet yesterday. It was just incredible - the Moscow City Ballet - the talent and discipline of the dancers was something to see. I realised how great it was to see something that impressive that did not involve technology! It was pure and simple; but still created absolute awe in us. And not a computer in sight...

More country walks today in an effort to wear out the Boos; I still have two more days of school holidays contend with so it's fresh air all the way.

We are all, to some extent defined by our past, our upbringing, our heritage. I am half Danish. However that Danish half of me is not prominent all the time; I don't speak the language and nowadays rarely visit Copenhagen where my family live. But as a child we went a lot; especially when our little family needed stability. My Mum would take us back to her homeland and we would spend summers with my cousins, aunts and uncles, and my grandparents: Mormor and Morfar. My Mormor, who lived until she was in her nineties was an incredible cook and so many of my childhood memories are rich in taste when I recall her cooking.

She had a little house just outside of Copenhagen and I would go with her as she spoke in her Danish tongue that I never understood, and we would pick gooseberries from her garden to bake a tart. Or my Mum and I would return from a shopping trip and my Mormor would have made us elderflower cordial and pastries. So I associate all Danish cooking with goodness; a pure palate of honest food. So when I was given this book, The Scandinavian Cookbook by Trina Hahnemann I was transported through the incredibly evocative photographs back to my childhood.

It's the simple, sometimes austere style of Denmark that I love. The minimalism, the design, the whole clean, clear feel to it. This book sums up that feeling, when applied to food. It's broken down into seasons too, which I like, so you eat the food that is in season when it is in season, rather than sourcing from far overseas.

by Vilhelm Hammershoi

 

So for today's final blog birthday giveaway, a hard back copy of

'THE SCANDINAVIAN COOKBOOK'

To win, it's as easy as one, two, three or should I say in Danish
 'en, to, tre', 

1. become a follower of my blog 'Lou, Boos and Shoes'

2. leave a comment to have the chance to be chosen

3. cross your fingers that you get picked!

Closes midnight UK time, Tuesday 11th January.

The recipes are divine and even if you have never tasted Scandinavian food there are some beautiful things to prepare. If you don't cook, the photographs are stand-alone beautiful!

GOOD LUCK!

via Copenhagen Cycle Chic

 Bye-bye...!

Things of beauty...giveaway day two!

I have always had an affliction - I love to shop. I like to get new things. My Dad was an airline pilot and when I was a child, he used to return from his route with party dresses from America; with puffed sleeves and frills = big impact in my little world.

I was that child who pined for brand new, red, patent Mary Janes. To this day that feeling of excitement of taking a package or bag of newly purchased items home persists. It is an affliction. I wish I could get over it. But sometimes you just have to accept who you are. It is shallow. Clothes and shoes are not everything in life, for sure. But they are nice aren't they?!

I do maintain a life-long search for the perfect pair of red shoes, the perfect LBD, the perfect antiqued brown leather belt. Obsessed? Yep, pretty much. Over the years I have had some partners in this crime; they know who they are but they are - the friends who I still email with links to online shops where I am considering a purchase! For me, it's all about the little details; those things that make your heart beat just that little bit faster.

So this week's things of beauty starts with the incredible face of Natalie Portman; I want to see 'Black Swan' when it comes but I am also scared to; horror is so not my cup of tea! I am taking Boo to the ballet this weekend to see 'The Nutcracker'. It's an annual tradition. Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the giveaways! Keep scrolling down...

...breath-taking Natalie Portman...

...love the short retro veil...photograph by Elizabeth Messina

...the delectable Blake Liveley...

 

 

...so simple, the winged eye, the pale lips..

 

...detailing by Emerson Made...

...'today, she thought as she looked at the map, we shall go here!'

...a feast of bow ties!

...such a cutie!

...the original: Brigitte Bardot...

simple monochrome dressing...via Dust Jacket Attic

Emma Gordon clutches...gorgeous detailing!

So the next giveaway of my blog birthday week is a little bit of that shopping happiness...

A HANDMADE 'GEORGIA' CLUTCH BAG BY EMMA GORDON, LONDON IN THE COLOUR OF YOUR CHOICE...

To be in with a chance of winning one of these, you simply need to be a follower of my blog and leave me a comment saying which colour you would pick! 
Closes midnight Sunday 9th January.

see the choices here...ivory, silver, lemon, berry, blue, peach, navy, lime, fuchsia, turquoise, taupe, purple, gunmetal, leopard, champagne, black...

I have had such sweet comments as part of this giveaway week, so thank you so much; without you...well, without you I am just someone who posts their thoughts on the web for no apparent reason!  

Do come back for more in a day or two...