A Serious WTF Moment in Footwear

This is a REAL shoe. Not only is it real, it's really expensive. $1095.00 to be exact.

The middle finger isn't what I find offensive about this shoe. It's the jaundice yellow flesh tone, the Lee Press-On Nail ornaments, and the puffy painted F**K YOU! on the platform.

Really? One thousand dollars for this?

(Oh and the bracelet is crooked and too high up on the wrist.) 

WTF?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is my FAVORITE holiday! I love hanging with my family and pigging out. :) I also love the excuse to be cheesy and say what I'm thankful for. Not that I really need one...

I'm thankful that I don't have shoes that remind me of a turkey. Sorry Givenchy, you got it all wrong.

Or these scary beasts...

I am thankful for shoes that use feathers tastefully. Like these by L.A.M.B.

But more than that, I'm thankful for my health, my AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING husband, my family and friends (including all of you of course!) and my cutie little puppies that are trying really hard to reach the turkey on the counter top. Not gonna happen guys.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

xoxo

Your ShoeGirl, Celine



Damn You Crocs.

I hate to have such a negative Friday so this wont be my last post of the day, but DAMN YOU CROCS! You've officially crossed the line. And damn you too, Hello Kitty. I thought you had higher standards.

Tisk tisk. I am so ashamed.

Fendi: The Good, the Bad and the Fugly.

Oh Fendi... What is going on?

Let's start with these amazing platforms. The good.

These are siiiiiiick! I mean, don't try these at home kids... these have some serious heels (6.5 inches!!!) and even with a substantial platform, the pitch is super high. Yikes.

BUT... thats why I love them. The higher the heels the closer you are to God, right? Ha!

SWOON!

The bad? Well, let's just say my grandma might like these. The color combo is kinda yucky and I haaaaaaaate these kind of heels. blah. Even though they are pretty high also, the curved heel is just so out of date IMO.

The straight up fugly?? While granny was trying on those Fendi's up there, grandpa lost control of his rascal and had an accident- his toupee apparently ended up on these booties.

Seriously? An animal had to die for these? Gross gross gross.

When I look at them I just can't help but think of one of these guys-

Eww.

What do YOU Think?

Yes or No?

This whole jelly craze may be getting out of hand. I'm ok with some of the cute jelly flats and heels by Melissa like these-

But I just can't get into the weirder versions like these jelly boots by Givenchy. Eww.

But what do YOU think???

Ground Control to Major Tom...

Balenciaga has gone mad. And not in a good way.

Sorry B, but these shoes are shitteous. I am not digging the trend towards pointy toes. Let's leave that trend in 2003 shall we? I do NOT miss them. Almost the entire Chloe fall 09 runway show had these weird pointy toes. I really don't get it. I mean, I do realize that trends go in opposites (ex: super skinny jeans one year, HUGE flairs the next) but these are just not flattering. I want my feet to look smaller, not bigger and witchier. 

Anway, I don't like these and I can't imagine why you would, but if you do, please tell me WHY.

Not That Any of You Would, But...

DON'T. Just don't. These shoe handbags are not cute. Not even a little. Not even in a novelty kind of way. Don't.

And if you do, don't come back here ever again.

hahaha

Look What I Found...

So in my attempt to "unblock" my brain, I was browsing some of my favorite blogs and various online shopping when I came across these hideous monstrosities. I never thought I'd find anything worse than Crocs or Uggs but I managed to find BOTH! 

The worse than Crocs are by Friskyshoes and take the ugliest part of Crocs and make them even worse. They're a cross breed of Crocs and flipflops with some glittery shit thrown in to make them extra special.

Then, there's the worse than Uggs. They're an open toed version! They claim to be for girls who get pedicures in cold weather... um, ya. Even better? The company that makes them calls them Bootie Pies. hahaha. 

More like Booty. These things are offensive.

So thanks to these two truly awful shoes, I am now in a better mood although no less stuck than I was before. Hey, at least I'm smiling now.

Liberachi Might Have Liked These?

Ok, so I hate these boots. I hate everything about them. I hate the outdated shape, the tacky gold color, the height, the elastic goring on the side... oh, and the heel. EVERYTHING.

Worst part? It's by Marc Jacobs. 

You guys, seriously? WTF? I feel like I'm in a time warp to 1996.

Oh Marc. I love you so much, but these? These are terrible. Maybe you need to get back on drugs? Is that it? Did rehab suck out your creativity out??

Oh blah. Now I'm just being a bitch.

Um, not so much.

I'm not feeling these floppy wedges by Chloe at all. I'm usually a huge fan of Chloe... but this time I think they missed the mark. Big time. I think these are matronly and sloppy looking and I'm not sure which trend they think this supposed to represent.

Hmmm. What do you guys think??

Another Barker... Bad Miu Miu, BAD!

I doubt I need to say much. You all have eyes.

Seriously guys... who would stick up for a shoe that looks like this? Who would wear a shoe that looks like this??

Gross!

Wait... is that supposed to be a dragonfly?? Is that what's going on here?? Wow. I don't know what else to say.

Hey Prada... WTF?

These are straight up HIDEOUS. Last season's Prada flower heel shoes were pretty bad, but these? These are just silly. Who's going to wear these??

First, the colors are heinous. 

Second, the shape. Blah

And as if you need a third, the upper is just stupid. It's not edgy or cool like I suspect they thought it would be; it's just gross.

Go Prada. You're really living up to your high-end designer reputation.

Psych.

Have You Been Searching For a Way to Make Your Baby Look Like a Whore??

Well the folks over at Heelarious have your solution! High heels for babies!

No, I'm not joking. I think I might puke. 

In this Bratz day and age I'm truly not surprised to see this, but still- I am disappointed. I think we need to leave high heels, makeup, hair extentions and all that crap to us older girls. The sexualizing of children is getting way out of hand. Plus, that aside, they are just plain ugly! Little babies are chubby with plumpy little feeties that do NOT look good in "sexy shoes". Look at that picture! The baby looks like an obese woman cramming her feet in a pair of heels.

Now sure, I know this is supposed to be funny, as the name suggests, but I just don't think it is. What's next, baby thongs? I'm not a mom, but I plan to be someday, and I know I would never put my baby in these. What about you moms? What do you think??

weird...

So I remember these sandals from a few years ago, so I guess Giuseppe Zanotti loves them so much he made them again. I didn't like them then and I don't like them now. I mean, who wants to wear a dead fish on their feet? And for $795 none the less. I'm not a big fan of shiny rhinestone shoes. It's all too Stuart Weitzman for my liking. Blah.

I dunno, am I missing something here?? Does anyone like this?

On a side note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENJAMIN! You are the best husband that ever husbanded. ;) I'm so lucky.

You Guys Have to See This...

The Shoe Girl Blog reader Margaret just sent this over to me and I just have to share with you guys! 

The wonderful people who brought us Crocs have decided to become shoe designers. Yep... they've launched a "fashion" line called YOU by crocs. According to this article in the Wall Street Journal, they launched it a year ago, but this is the first I've heard of it.

Now I'd be lying if I said they were all hideous.  There are a couple of styles that I wouldn't kick out of bed, but still- crocs??? I just can't support them! I am surprised to see that they did an ok job. But then again, I am looking at their spring/summer collection which consists mostly of flat sandals and wedges, which aren't the hardest things to design. 

I don't know. I hate comfort brands in general, especially designs by Taryn Rose which are SO ugly and are at a high end design price point. I mean, comfort at a low price I get. But $400+ on a shoe that looks like an orthopedic shoe with a mid-heel? No thanks.

I'm going to stick with a NO for this new brand, but that's just for me. I won't judge those who decide to wear them. I will however, continue to judge those of you who wear crocs... especially those who wear crocs with socks... although I'd like to think that none of MY readers would be caught dead in them. ;)

Another One Bites the Dust...

Ok, one more bad shoe and then we'll get positive again. I've seen this shoe while out shopping and I just don't get it. I understand that designers are doing different and interesting things with heels, but this is just stupid. It looks weird and seems like it would be really uncomfortable! I'm ok with uncomfortable shoes in he form of high heels... I mean, I almost expect it- but in a one inch heel? No bueno. Especially from Jil Sander who I usually love. 

Don't Make the Indian Cry...

Why would you spend $550 or even $450 on a hideous shoe? It doesn't make sense, but those are the price tags. Seriously.

It makes me sad to see a designer brand making such yucky shoes. Both of these beasts come to you from "designer" Robert Clergerie. Thumbs down dude. Thumbs down.

   

What the FUG?!?

Ok, back on the Negative Nancy train. These are for sure the most hideous things I've seen in at least... oh... 5 or 6 hours. (lots of not so hot samples came in the office today)

Anyway. Total hideosity. When I think of Givenchy I think of sexy, fashion forward footwear. Um... not so much with these things. 

First off, I hate jellies whether or not they are a kick ass designer brand. They need to go away. They look like some manly shower shoes that escaped from some gay men's day spa. I don't see how these are supposed to be fashionable. Am I alone here?? US Weekly featured them as one of their favorites, though what the hell do they know about fashion? They should stick to celeb gossip, which they DO know about. ;) Apparently fashion know-it-all's Cameron Diaz, Kirsten Dunst, and Ashley Olsen are fans of the shoe. Another thing they have in common may be fashion stylist Rachel Zoe? I could be wrong. I digress. 

The point is I'm not a fan. I think I've made that clear. Any arguments? Along with the black seen here, they also come in a shitteous pink color- both available at Barneys for a mere $165. A certain shoe blog, which will remain nameless, is reporting that these are "cute". Yea, sure. And so were those Nine West clogs they were lusting after last week. HA! Maybe I should re-name myself the shoe blog snob? 

When Sexy Style Meets Comfort!

Nobody can argue the sex appeal of a mid-heel unit bottom wedge like this strappy Donald J. Pliner number! I mean, come on people... This just screams sexuality! And, lucky for us, comfort too. 

This is a shoe lovers dream come true and at only

$214 this little slice of heaven is budget friendly too! I found them here at Zappos. I mean, sure, you could spend your $214 on a Marc by Marc Jacobs shoe, or a sale priced Chloe or something... but who wants that!? Those shoes are hardly ever comfortable and they are too funky to last more than one season. 

This sandal is a timeless classic and will be a staple in your wardrobe for years to come. This shoe is rated 5 stars on Zappos for all 3 categories: Overall, Look, and Comfort. WOW! 5 stars! And if you look under womens dress, then sort by popularity, this shoe is #1! Can you believe it!? Of all the shoes on their site, THIS is #1. So awesome.

Anyway, I just ordered mine in black AND in red (the red I'll save for a special occasion like a sexy date or a night out on the town) and I'm counting down the days until my package arrives!

Oh.... one more thing... APRIL FOOOOOOOLS!!!! hahahahahhaa. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that I wouldn't be caught dead in this hideous mess of a shoe. HA! Ok shoe lovers, enjoy your day. My work here is done. ;)

Kill me now. Please.

The two most disgusting forms of footwear had a love child. Allow me to rant for a second...

What the EFF are you people thinking? Do you have that much distain for those around you that you just decide one day, "You know... screw it, I'm going to wear what's comfortable, no matter how shitteous I look."?

Seriously!!! There are comfortable shoes that don't make you look like you are working in a kitchen or training polar bears. WTF people? The fact that crocs are doing so well makes me sick. The saddest and most egregious offense is when people put crocs on their CHILDREN!!! The poor kids have no choice in the matter. What are we teaching the next generation?? We have a responsibility people! JESUS!

Anyway, without further delay, here is the most disgusting "shoe" in the history of man kind. The Crugg.

...I am going to my room to mourn the death of integrity in footwear.