Dear iPhone,


Please stop taunting me with your ads, bragging about your do-it-all apps. We get it. You've thought of everything we could have ever dreamt of wanting from a phone. You are like a crazy robot from the future that can read minds and bake cookies (those apps will be available shortly) Your camera takes better pictures than my digital camera does. Your internet is faster than my home computer.

But guess what- you SUCK when it comes to texting, so until you get that shit figured out... I want nothing to do with you! I'll stick with my blackberry, TYVM.

Who texts with one finger?? Pshhhh.