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all photos by stop and look and listen.
special thanks to Stephen Blythe for his kind work.

Playing to be Mom

My pup Pacey was acting her normal rambunctious self today when she decided to play doctor on her latest fluffy chew toy (i.e., victim), redman, and remove his squeaker. The life cycle of a toy around these parts is about five minutes, so I decided to break out the ole sewing kit and restuff the redman, squeaker and all. This surgery was being done on my lap and poor Pacey couldn't stand to be away from her new BFF for even a second, so she was making grabs for the redman. And here I am, at the end of a long day of work and pricking myself on the finger relentlessly, so without even thinking much about it, I smacked her on the head one.

Though all Pacey did was sit there and stare at me with a look that almost read as "is that all you've got?", I couldn't help instantly feeling the guilt build up. I shouldn't take my frustration out at a dog, I was messing with her toy within her line of sight, blah, blah, blah. And the point of this post isn't really even about a dog, because not five minutes after redman was fixed did I find him in the bedroom missing an arm and hemorrhaging stuffing - but it got me thinking: if and when I become a parent, is striking out going to be my first reaction to my kid?

(This isn't a post that tells the world that I've changed my mind and I am suddenly ready and open to having children. No, ma' am ... But as most any woman of child-bearing age does wonder from time to time, what kind of parent would I be?)

BF is convinced I am going to be a big softie because I treat the pup like a baby. I feel completely different because he seems to forget I was raised from immigrant asian parents (see the nods of understanding from my asian sisters out there) - meaning schoolwork above all else, helping around the house is not a request, if you can take the bus by yourself that means you're old enough to have a job, and disciplining offspring does not mean taking away their iPhone for 30 minutes.

I am pretty sure I am going to be the hated parent, as I've already made rules for the imaginary child in my head. Such as if you're going to whine about wanting to stay in the store, I will leave you there. I am not a short order cook, so if you don't like what I make, then you're going to go hungry. You don't have to eat everything off your plate, but you better at least try everything. You don't get negotiating power until you're making your own money. When I say "now," I don't mean "later." You get the point.

I guess I really won't know for sure until it happens, huh. I may freak my current-self out and become a total child-cooer. So what about you? For you gals out there with no kids, what kind of parent do you think you'll be? For the mothers out there, are you the parent you thought you would be (hope I didn't just ask a loaded question)?


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Dress: Garnet Hill piazza knit (similar strapless here or not close but wow here)
Sweater: J. Crew featherweight (worn here before - similar 3/4 here)
Belt: Anthropologie looping lanes (worn here before - similar here)
Tights: Target
Shoes: Xhiliration by Target teanna (worn here before - similar here)
Bracelet: Forever 21 faceted cube spiral (worn here before)

And don't worry, Pacey is still with us ...


rough recording from the recent jams with Alex Nitkowski and James Palehorse. serious rhythm section.


Stolen Goods

Aldo Shoes, Gap (remember I dyed it last summer) skirt

 This is what I call my stolen goods outfit. I swiped the trench a few weeks ago from a certain ten year old who doesn't appreciate the value of a good trench jacket.

I may have or may not have stolen the shirt out of a certain somebody's closet as well. It wouldn't be the first time. It won't be the last. The trick to is to wait until he leaves for work to avoid the whole "No, man that's my good shirt" speech. I timed it perfectly.

Whatever. It served a purpose today.

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Earn Your Stripes

Everywhere I look I'm seeing stripes! And I'm loving it.

I NEED this bathing suit! Too bad it's already sold out... :(

Prada is going to be making faux fur versions of this!! Yes please!

Day of doubt...

If ever I doubt my 'working mother' choice it's on a Tuesday. As I have Mondays off, Tuesday is my Monday. Back to work after a lovely long weekend; the stark contrast between my home days and work days on full show. The school run slightly more stressy due to high heels. The drive to work an attempt to empty my mind of home actions and focus on work actions. The meetings where I realise with a little shiver shock of guilt that I have thought of neither child for hours. The email inbox mounting up all the while.

via a lady's findings from things is cool
Then at the end of the work day, the commute back, the school pick-up late and getting tired. We reach home, I change into my home evening uniform of comfies. Immediately as we enter the house I am tidying up from our hasty departure that morning; simultaneously clearing porridge bowls and cooking their evening meal. Swift cuppa tea, homework and re-stocking school bags (make an Easter Bonnet out of recycled materials to be brought to school the day after tomorrow! Ugh the extra curricular activity that is the bane of the working mother's life). I try to maintain some semblance of happy motherly mealtime, knowing that once their meal is done and they are in bed, I will do it all again for my husband's return home. This is modern life. I know there are ways I could do it that would be easier - I could let the house be a mess, I could eat with the kids and let him fend for himself when he gets home. But for me that kinda misses the point...

I get the stage in the evening when I long for some time to just reflect on the day. I want to catch up on blogs and watch trashy TV. To enjoy a glass of wine when he gets home.

But then, as it all dies down and I consider the prospect of a day off work tomorrow (I do love being part time) I come to the conclusion it's just Tuesdays. I have enormous empathy for working mothers who work full time; where every day represents my Tuesday. My heart goes out to you and my hat goes off to you. With no condesedence inferred. I know every household has its hardships and its gems of goodness, time to enjoy the goodness in mine.

via a lady's findings from ornamelle

Nike Air Max 95



Hall of Fame


The WINNER of the ShoeTease giveaway is ADRIANA (adri17)!!


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Reading with a Dorrie

Feeling academic today in my gingham button-down, khaki skirt and sensible mary janes. All I need is a good hefty read, a bicycle and a sturdy shade tree to sit under. Too bad real life weather is bringing back tinges of winter that is almost literally raining on my parade.

What happened to spring? My legs are covered, my warm jacket is so close, and my fingers are freezing as I type this!

How are you ladies getting by the winter-to-spring transition? Are you wearing your new spring threads despite the chilly March air or still bundled in your winter wools?


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Top: Lands' End Canvas poplin gingham (worn here before)
Sweater: Anthropologie Guinevere roaming frills (worn here before - similar here / here, beige twin here)
Skirt: J. Crew dorrie
Tights: Target
Shoes: Artisan by Clarks (worn here before - similar here or here)

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Time for another Respect the Outfits reader feature! This time, let's go back to one of our fave retailers - Anthropologie! As much as we love the retailer, our wallets can't always afford to buy its stuff. So let's flex our closet-creative juices and please send me your interpretation of an Anthro-inspired outfit featuring no - or very few - actual Anthro pieces. See the first Anthro-inspired reader post for more information and see how some of the other lovely ladies rocked the look!

Please send me your pic and outfit details (and include a link to the original post if you'd like some link love) by Tuesday, April 5 - post will go live next Wednesday! Outfit does not need to be brand new - recent outfits are good too! Pics and info can be sent to respecttheshoes(at)