The shoe that fits one
person pinches another;
there is no recipe for living
that suits all cases.
~~Carl Gustav Jung~~
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday
night." Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are
unimportant." George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole
relationship." Sharon Stone
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but
he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think
Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are
just grateful." Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men
are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause
severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think,
'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences
money can buy." Steve Martin
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older.
Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman.
Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns
