psychological tinnitus

i pulled up the floor boards, and there was the pay-load.
i don't want to remember a thing,
and i mean nothing.
so i dug up the sticks and stones, and the bodies,
and now i'm wracking my brain until i feel nothing.
and my guts are out
now you know about
my spiraling
the knock on effect is doing my head in.
i'm so glad you could make it, i know its exhausting,
but i don't want you to see me now, not like this.
i'm working on it making it explode,
because i'm pointing my life at you, and that means something.
and my guts are out
now you know about
my spiraling.
i'm not messing about, this has gone on long enough.
bring out the dead.
forget to remember, the sooner the better.
soften the blow, the only way i know how.