Full Disclosure: Freckle Face

Blogging has been a bit of a freeing experience for me - being able to share "just" as much as I want to while still maintaining an air of anonymity. It has also helped me to come to terms with the way I look, and be able to embrace the positive while at the same time as least not absolutely hating myself over the negative.

So in this Full Disclosure post, I wanted to push one of my personal boundaries and be candid about one of my personal least favorite features - my freckles.

freckles4

Now most of you gals make not think freckles are a big deal but I've aways been extremely self-conscious of mine through most of my life. As an asian, all of my family and my asian friends were all blessed with the "typical" asian complexion - pale, clear porcelain skin. While I had a face full of freckles. And some moles. And in my teens, throw in some acne to the mix. And everything else about myself that I was not satisfied with. I was and still am extremely aware of every dot, bump, speck on my face.

Why do I dislike them so much? They make me look like a kid, and looking adult-like in a corporate work environment and regular social environment is already hard enough when you're a short asian girl. And they really darken and have a tendency to multiply relentlessly in the summer, regardless of how much SPF I slather on. To me, I'm too old to have them and have too many for them to be considered cute.

freckles3

I know if they really bother me as much as they do, I could do things to make them go away. I could see a dermatologist and get them lasered off. Or there are numerous fancy creams that promise to whiten and lighten any nasty brown bits off your face. But I don't do it.

No, there's not big life-changing, emotive "aha!" moment about how I've grown to be completely accepting of who I am and think that I am perfect in the way I was made - because let's be honest, as much as we try to be positive about everything about ourselves, who really is absolutely comfortable with themselves? And if there do exist self-assured Samantha Jones' in the world, I can do nothing but commend and be in awe of you. So why don't I do anything about my freckles instead of whine about them? Partly because I'm hesitant about doing anything to myself I don't need to - and partly because I think of my freckles as part of me, regardless of how I feel about them.

freckles1

I didn't write this post in hopes of eliciting "aw, you're gorgeous, those freckles are perfect" comments - this isn't a different is beautiful post. I also hope I don't make those of you who also have freckles to feel self-conscious about them because there are plenty of people who make freckles look good. And I definitely don't want to start a list of self-deprecations from you lovely gals. This is just me, pushing a personal boundary - I guess this is just a long-winded "here are my freckles, ta da!" post. So - ta da.

And in a vain attempt to give a point to this post, let's talk about you. What are your favorite non-traditional features - on yourself, or just in general?