True Story

So, this morning I'm getting ready to leave and I need to let my dog "out." As I open the back door, I immeditately am hit with the fragrance of weed (Mary Jane, the chronic...insert your local adjective here). It's 8am...who the what and what the what? I get scared because the smell is so strong that the person has to be somewhere near. (Insert images of the Jump Out Boys attacking me).

So I let my dog out...who didnt bother to bark by the way...and I see a man walking away in a wind suit. He is walking away slowly but still. I look to my left and there is an iron dumbbell sitting next to an empty trash bag.

Immediately I think "Oh my god. This dude is getting high before he uses his dumbbell as a weapon to break the burglar bars to my neighbor's house and steal all of her pictures from the flea market off her wall." (Mind you I've never been in her house but she looks like that type).

So, I got my oblivious dog back in the house and hustle to the front and knock on her door. She peeks the blinds and the following happens...

Me: *in a semi frantic voice* There is a dude back there smoking week in your yard with a dumbell. Then he walked away!

He: Oh that's probably Tre' ole mannnnnn.

Me: *throwing up a little in my mouth* Ummmkay. I just wanted to let you know.

So here is the letter I wish I could put in my neighbor's mailbox...

(I wore this outfit this week but decided it was boring so I didn't post it but now I need a pic for this post so voila...thrifted men's cardi/harem pants/boots...nothing special at all)

Dear Neighbor,

Why is your man smoking at 8 in the morning? And does he normally work out with only one dumbbell while smoking weed? And why is your man rocking on old school wind suit...the kind that made that swooshing sound when he walked away? Why is he walking away at all?And why is your old man smoking weed at all?? You are atleast 65 55 years old! How old is he?!?!?!?

That's all,
Reiko aka "GFS"