I went to the Erykah Badu concert last night. It's like 2000 degree in Houston now so avoiding any extra pieces of clothing is crucial for survival.
For some reason, I just decided my vintage Prince "Life is Just A Parade" T shirt was sufficient for the concert. Short skirt, fedora, LAMB shoes and clutch...done.
Speaking of concerts, there was a man who stood up most of the time and blocked my view. Now, if he was just feeling Erykah and the songs "like that", I wouldn't complain because it's a concert. I get it. BUT he was not snapping and swaying to the music. HE WAS RECORDING HER PERFORMANCE ON HIS DIGITAL CAMERA! So here is what I wish I could have said to the man who blocked my view last night.
Dear Not so Small Man,
I am so glad that you are getting to enjoy Erykah's performance. You deserve it. You probably work really hard and have been looking forward to this night for a while. But sir, why are you oblivious to the fact that I am behind you as well as others? Why can't you sit down periodically? I am also pretty sure that those aren't you seats. Let me see your ticket...I bet I can prove it. But I won't judge you for that. We all want to get closer to the stage, don't we? There's no harm in that. 
But sir, I am not trying to assassinate you or your character in any way but you are not really that small. You are kind of a big dude. As a matter of fact, every one is sitting down in the whole arena because she is singing a ballad right now. Hell, ERYKAH is even sitting down. Furthermore, can you tell me what portion of your recordings will be quality? It looks like you are holding an Olympus digital camera...the same kind I have to take pictures for my blog. That's not even a video camera. Who are you going to show this footage to? Are you going to watch it again? Are you going to edit all the people's heads who are passing in front of you?
And while we are at it, could you please put that damn camera down and attend to your "about to pop any minute now" pregnant wife! She is uncomfortable. She is not even grooving to the music. She's just kind of just sitting there taking short breaths which look alot like the breathing techniques I see on tv when a mother is ABOUT TO GO INTO LABOR!! Sir, please rub her back! She can't even close her legs when she is sitting. She is kinda just propped in her seat to alleviate the pain and pressure in her uterus. Sir, please stop recording. It looks like your wife wants to ask you to escort her to the ladies' room so she can throw up but she won't because you are standing up, blocking my view...while you record.
So please sir, excuse me for longing to tap you on your hip and ask you to sit so I can see. This is a small theater, there aren't any jumbo trons for me to see the performance. All I have to enjoy this concert are my shotty eyes and my two ears. I keep hoping that the next song will be a fast song so that I can atleast jump and dance with everyone and not worry about blocking the view of the person behind me.
Thank you sir. I probably wouldn't have even bothered you if I saw that you knew the words to any of the song but YOU DON'T!
Sincerely,
The chick behind you in the Prince T Shirt crouching in between the cracks of you and your wife to see Erykah sing:)
(Erykah Badu in concert: Here is my contribution to grainy, poor pixelated concert photos to add to cyberspace...and I didn't block anyone to get these pics:)
(Are you trying to see if she is wearing some warm up pants, loose fitting t shirt, extra long hair to her butt and gold foil paper around face?? Yes she is...That's Erykah!)
P.S...Next post I will write a letter to the two screaming, drunk ladies behind me who were cackling the whole concert and never heard them hum one song! lol!)
P.P.S...The title of this post is the title of my favorite song by Erykah Badu:
